Am I the only one?

It is always said that there are three sides to every story. Yours, mine and the truth. This is about my side and my life without my estranged sisters. One day I had to look up the meaning of estranged. As I read the meanings I was like “yep” and “that’s me” and “ok then”. Maybe it made me feel better or not,  but it gave me a word for my feelings.  I esp related to the part of-
“Synonyms: estrange, alienate, disaffect
These verbs refer to disruption of a bond of love, friendship, or loyalty. Estrange and alienate are often used with reference to two persons whose harmonious relationship has been replaced by hostility or indifference”.

Then I took it further and looked up Bullying. Right on the mark of all of it.

The four markers of bullying:
-Bullying is a conscious act.  It is a deliberate act of aggression and is always done against a perceived weak target.
-The bully always has more power in some way (size, maturity, age, more acceptable race or ethnic group)
-The bully always intends to harm their target.
-The bully leaves their target with threats of future aggression and terror.

Types of bullying:
-Verbal – the most common form, can be insults, humiliating comment, name calling, taunting, harassing.
-Physical-easiest to see from the outside, can be tripping, punching, shoving, pinching, hair pulling
-Social/relational – hard to detect and usually indirect, can be shunning and exclusion, done through body language like dismissive looks, mean and degrading notes, ignoring, spreading rumors
-Cyber-bullying – newest form of bullying, using text messaging, email, chat rooms, and other social media to send threatening and degrading messages, harass, or spread rumors

It’s  become obvious that the hope to be treated with kindness and respect are never going to happen with these women. I want to be the only one out there that this is or has happened to cause it all seems so wrong. It is just plain wrong.
How can family who say they love you, be so damn mean? Bullies.
This is not the way it was supposed to be.
Slowly reaching out for an end to the “why” factor. Feeling the “need to know” finally winding down. It’s just sad.

The question I keep  asking  is, if these women were not related, and behaved in the same way, would you keep them as a friend? of course not . Then I ask myself can I treat them as badly as they do me? I want to, but deep down I don’t have that behavior in me.
Blood is not thicker than water, least not in my case.

Yep, this is me in a nutshell. One day there was love and that “harmonious relationship” and over a course of 5yrs the bonds I had forged with all 3 sisters have deteriorated.  Gone. I live in the same small town with 2 of them and this “thing” between us all gotten so bad that they will leave a room when I walk in.
And I just carry on like it doesn’t bother me when deep down I am screaming “Why don’t you like me anymore!?!?”

This is for me, my therapy and I am hoping that by putting my thoughts and feelings out there it will help someone else. I want to be the only one in this club, just because it is so sad but I am sure there are more of us. I have unbelievable stories to tell and random thoughts to share.  Maybe someone will share with me……

And there you have it,
Little Sister

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One Response to Am I the only one?

  1. Hmm. I am not so sure about that…

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